Advent is here

I know that society in general has been gearing up for Christmas since about September, but I make it a principle not to think about it until advent actually begins.

Despite this plans are already afoot (I seem to be starting earlier than usual), I have sorted out what to get my family (though I have yet to order it all), and started on the Christmas cards (The overseas ones have to go this week).

I have decided this year that I am going to make every effort to write a proper letter to everyone that I have not been keeping in touch with properly over the last year. This is part of my attempt to actually maintain some sort of connection with all my friends.

Of course all this physical preparation is one thing, so far I'm not doing so well at the spiritual side of things - so no change there.

This having been said I have been spurred into some sort of action and have just picked up a book of reflections on Advent (which I meant to do yesterday, but forgot). The book is called "A feast for Advent" and is by Delia Smith - yes that's right, she of TV cookery & Norwich City F. C. fame.

This and it's sister book "A feast for Lent" are books which I read some time ago and have decided to revisit. They are written very accessibly (no theological jargon here)and are really thought-provoking. For example, the reflection for yesterday (which I have just sat down and read) echoes the readings for the Mass. Reminding me that I am called upon to be ready for the coming of the Lord.

Thing is, I don't feel ready, in fact I'm not ready, I'm not sure I've ever been less ready. Trouble is, the more I get into life; gaining more possessions, car, house, gadgets etc. The more I seem to forget why I am here. It is so easy to fall into the trap of throwing some money at various charities, turning up to Church on Sundays and thinking I'm doing my bit.

It is a lot easier than trying to work on that, oh so difficult, relationship with God, or loving those, oh so unlovable, people out there, or even loving that, oh so unlovable, person that I am.

Hmm, I think I will make an effort to read Delia's reflections, they are making me think of where I ought to be heading and it might help to discipline myself to having a time set aside for prayer and reflection - something sadly lacking in my life at present.

It's sad that I didn't get any of this from Mass yesterday, I find I get so little out of it at the moment. So many things about the building, congregation and service distract me from what I should be focusing on.

I thank God for the Eucharist; that is the one constant, the one thing which makes up for the rest. I come back always to those words we say in the Mass "I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed". Wow, this always blows me away every time, God's love and mercy are so much greater than all my failings; no matter what I do, no matter how far I turn from His path, he is always willing and able to take me back, to draw me to Himself - Amazing Grace indeed.